Stephi's Blog

The Dreams of Little Girls...

You know, when I was younger, like, I'm talking, nine and ten, I used to dream of my first, well, everything. I couldn't wait for my first bra, or my first period, or my first boyfriend; my first love... because, I thought they all meant I was growing up. And, in grade 5 [so, I guess I was 10,] I got my first training bra, only to realize it really wasn't all that great. Like, it made my back itchy and gave me something else to remember each morning... and all the guys could see it through my shirts and would snap it on me, causing a lot of pain. Still, keenly, I awaited the arrival of the rest of the "woman-ish" dreams. In grade 7 [so, at 12] I had my first boyfriend. Now, by boyfriend, I mean more of a boy who was my friend that I called my boyfriend. We dated for a week. During this week, we got close, only for him to leave me for a girl who hated me and dumped him the next day. I moved on, knowing it was nothing of 'love' or even anything of the sort, however, losing a friendship that I wouldn't regain at all until grade 9. In truth, even in grade 9, we barely spoke to one another, but, we did speak so that was an improvement. This past summer, summer after grade 10, we actually became friends again, only for him to move away in December, and for me to never even have a chance to say goodbye. Maybe it's better off that way; without having to say goodbye, and instead, just "see you later" but all the same; what kind of first boyfriend is that compared to the dreams little girls have? My first love cheated on me, hurt me, a lot, and then left me because we had to end that way after dating for 9 months. I mean, I didn't give him much of myself, and he gave me nothing of him, however, all the same; what kind of girl dreams of that as their first love? As for periods in general, what the hell kind of dream is that??? Yeah. Let's cheer about a gross icky wet spot in your panties every month that looks disgusting and doesn't leave you alone for 50 years. Let's rejoice in the joys of PMS, headaches, cramps, and the plain old feeling of feeling gross. Seriously, what kind of dreams do we have as kids?

Although, you know, on a positive note, sometimes the feelings we dream of as seven year olds actually do come true. Like, say for example, you're volunteering at your school and you meet a good friend, called friend A. And, after a while of hanging out with friend A, he introduces you to friend B. And you and friend B talk, all the time, and eventually start hanging out as well, and falling in love, while dancing to one song; a beautiful Coldplay song that you now constantly long to hear. What if you, and now lover B end up dating, and two months later, it's Valentine's Day, and you're amazed at how he reacts when you're bitching and ranting, or when you're depressed and upset, or when you're simply in love, like I constantly am. Isn't that what little girls dream of? Finding the sweetest guy ever, who is always there for you, and who loves you, through everything? You know; I'd stop bitching about my bra, or my period, or my first attempt at a boyfriend just to see his face, because, they all seem like nothing when he's around, and on this Valentine's Day, I'd just like to say, I love you Joe.

Yeah, I love you Joe.

posted by Stephi @ 12:02 AM