Stephi's Blog

The Powers of a Clueless Mind...

Seriously, I don't know that I should be writing this here. I mean, really, if anyone reads this blog at all, Joe's the only one... and, if I'm talking about things with Joe... well... I'm really not keeping them to myself, right? But, if I keep them all to myself and don't risk them being noticed, well, first off, I'm not getting how I feel off my chest and secondly, I'm expecting for Joe to never know... and, while that would be ideal for myself, it's unfair to him... and, I'm not exactly one to want to be unfair... yes; I know I'm rambling... I'll stop...

The lyrics currently repeating through my head... In the Water I am Beautiful by City and Colour.

And I know its not to get away from me,
You just need a change of scenery
So strange how everything went wrong so fast
And I hope that this confusion does not last

These words might be, too little too late,
And I'm afraid that I have already lost you.
Now three months equals eternity and this will be so hard
And I will long to hold you in my arms

And when you ask do you love me
And I should reply with yes most certainly
And I always hesitate there's something lingering
And I will try harder to be all that I can be

These words might be, too little too late,
And I'm afraid that I have already lost you now
Three months equals eternity and this will be so hard
And I will long to hold you in my arms

Seriously, [wow, I use that word too much...] I barely know what I'm feeling... or why I'm feeling it... it just... doesn't make any sense. I love Joe, [I love you Joe...] so damn much... like, with everything I have... and yet, I feel detached and apart from him [you] and I feel like we're just drifting apart, even though I'm nearly sure it's my imagination... and, I feel as if we're always arguing, when I know that's not true... even when we do argue, it's all mockingly... teasingly... it's nothing seriously... just friendly... and I have no fucken idea of why I'm feeling anything that I'm feeling... and I'm sorry for feeling it... I just... I don't know what to do...

I'm sorry...

posted by Stephi @ 7:02 PM